No Really…The Dog Ate My Homework

It’s a line that has been mumbled by students for decades and probably is the most common excuse teachers have ever heard about why student homework was not completed.

But, how many kids can actually use this excuse with a straight face AND have Mom post online about how darn true it really is? Well, my Alex now can.

The dog literally ate his homework.

I don’t have very many house rules, but it drives me absolutely insane when the few I have are completely ignored! With 3 kids coming and going from school, my door way, hallway and any “way” they see fit, seem to be constantly full of bloody backpacks! I won’t start a rant about these things, as I could go on forever about the seemingly black hole, aka backpack, that Brendan uses, but I had to lay down the law about where they were to be placed when they come home from school.

Now we have lived in this new place for 2 1/2 months, and with very little extra space, the backpack barracks are literally 12 feet from the back door. This is not new! Backpacks are also to be kept closed. Ask Ryan about the dog eating his football mouth-guard and you will understand why.

The dog is tied to the back door when she comes inside from the snow to dry off. This too is not new. Lexi also chews friggin everything. There is nothing sacred from her mouth – even disposable razors…

So, Alex rushes home from school Friday and in an effort to beat his brother in the door to ask if they could go to the library, tosses the backpack right down beside Lexi. An OPEN backpack beside Lexi.

I can literally imagine that darn dogs mouth starting to water at the prospect of goodies inside!

Lexi prior to becoming CujoAs I walk down the hallway to the back door, I can see said backpack with a little furry black butt sticking out of it. My bellowing kicks in, and the dog immediately pops out, sits down and does that innocent head cock as if to say “What did I do??”

I give the dog my usual royal shit, stuff everything back into the pack, toss it into the barracks and get on with starting dinner…

Later, when Alex returns from the library, I launch into my usual 3rd degree about where the backpacks are to be placed after school. He is doing his usual I-know-I-know-wall-away down the hall as I suddenly hear “OOOOOOH MYYYYYYYYYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD”.

It seems Lexi’s watering mouth was satisfied, as Alex stands there holding his homework – a now chewed map of Canada. Newfoundland is missing – I guess we never “found” it. Either that or Lexi doesn’t like Newfs. Ironic, since our last dog was a Landseer Newfoundland.

No Really... The dog ate my homeworkI have to admit, I burst out laughing, so hard in fact I am pretty sure the kids thought I had gone nuts. But the thought of poor Alex standing in front of his teacher Monday morning, uttering the words “The dog ate my homework”, had me almost in hysterics!

He cannot even attempt to complete the work, as all we can read is “Using the map below, color in the area [insert chew chunk here]”. We can’t see what area….lol

So off Alex will go Monday, with a note to his teacher from me, most likely directing her to this post…LOL. Sadly, the lesson of why it is important to use the barracks most likely will be lost on, not only Alex, but Brendan and Ryan as well, since I was informed by them all yesterday that:

Homework is bad for the environment. It kills trees!
We should all play video games instead!


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